So Sad

Today all 3 kids started daycare. I'm not going back to work till thursday but I had to drop all of them off for daycare today. Cadence and Cole walzted right into their rooms and proceeded to play with the other kids like they had never been away. It wasn't hard for me to leave them there because I've done it before, but Kayleigh was a different story. When Cadence first started daycare I had already been back to work for a while so I had gotten used to leaving her for work and she was used to it. When Cole started daycare he was on formula and a bottle and I left him and Cadence at Nick's moms with her and his sister. But today is the first time I have left Kayleigh and not been in the same building. Leaving her in the church nursery was easy, cause they give you a pager and I know she's right down the hall. But to leave her and then come home, knowing I'm miles away from her was just down right heart breaking. It was difficult trying to explain to the girl how to feed her cause she doesn't take a bottle from me and I've never been around when she's been fed a bottle. And she was in such a good mood all happy and smiles and the poor thing didn't know that I was gonna leave her for about 7 or so hours. I know she's in good hands and I'm not worried about how she'll handle it, but I'm having a hard time. I knew I shouldn't linger around cause it would be harder for me to leave so I left. But once I hit that door and headed to the car I just burst into to tears. I didn't realize it would be so emotional to leave her. So now I'm home, and it's just too quiet. No kids running and screaming, no ticking of the swing, or coos from Kayleigh. Maybe it will be easier for me to handle once I actually go to work and I have something to occupy my mind away from them. However, this may make me work harder to achieve that extra income that we need to bring me home for good and the only time I will have to leave my babies is to take a romantic vacation with Nick.